My friend was visiting today and made a very strange comment to me. I didn't take offense to it but it makes me wonder exactly how "married" people are supposed to behave. He mentioned that it doesn't look like I'm married and I asked him why - he said that married women have a certain look. I wonder if he thinks that because I don't share my profile picture on Facebook with R. But it was an odd comment.
I try not to get too ga-ga about my life - marriage - when I have company. Because lets face it, save a few hurdles, I've got it pretty good. I've made the compromises I feel comfortable with and beyond that, both R and I pick our battles with each other very carefully. Mostly, I've got a partner where I think of him more as a best friend than a husband. What does "husband" mean anyway?
My friend even asked if we were living separately and that confused me even more. Should I be talking more about R and inserting him in every conversation ? Should I be littering his wall with messages that are best saved for GChat? I offered my friend our place to crash at if he needed to spend the night in New York. I didn't consult R and I wonder if that's why he made those comments. I'm not offended, but a little rankled.
Anyways, I'm superstitious. And I don't want to tempt fate. So I'll shut up. But God save me if I ever begin to look like a "married" woman - whatever that means.
is your friend married..?
ReplyDeleteI can see why you're miffed but I can also understand your friend's thought process. Some perspective - you and R have been together for a long time, even before you got married.
ReplyDeleteA lot of new couples (married or otherwise) behave a certain way, doing many of the things you mentioned. There's the inevitable couple pics as Facebook profile images, of course. There's the heavy duty online PDA that some of them indulge in (but not all). And there's often that 'we are sooooo into each other'ness that distances other people. I think it wears off after awhile, not because the romance dies but because both people get used to the idea and settle down to the actual business of a relationship and the rest of life.
There are of course those notable (and avoidable) exceptions who go into relationship lalaland and are never heard from again, except in curious double-voices in sentences that always start with 'We'. So glad you're not one of those those. *thanking God*
@farawayprincess nope. he's not married. he didn't mean to offend me but it was odd coming from him.
ReplyDelete@ideasmith yeah, it was just strange. usually, people are not so open with their thoughts of your relationship / marriage and it took me by surprise.
that answers the question jinal. If he's not married, though he thinks he knows everything about marriage, he doesnt. So he expects everyone to fall into slots that he has percieved.
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