Last weekend was stratospheric. Mom and Dad are here and the entire clan (17 of us!) got together over the weekend. It was epic. Amidst stinky diapers, several rounds of Catan, home made lasgane, tea and bhajjia at 3am and four tireless kids, I had the best weekend I could dream of.
Baa is at my place now and I am reminded again why I never warmed up to her. I almost feel guilty saying this out loud. She's not a very pleasant person to be around. Constantly bitching and complaining, never fully appreciating anything anyone does for her and turning daughter's against her daughter-in-laws. Parenting in the fifties and sixties must have been very different. My only point of reference is Mad Men but my hunch is that Baa was just as cold and selfish with her kids.
She was married at 15 and by the time she was 25, she had six kids. Her husband passed away shortly after and she was alone with six mouths to feed, little financial support from the rest of her family. Her son's had no choice but to step up. One of them quit his school and took over Grandfather's shop. The other one found a way to go to America and worked nights and studied in the day to send money back to his family in India. Baa suffered too but I also think she got in a way used to having everyone dote on her and take care of her, which if you ask me, is beyond annoying. She's too dramatic and I believe she gets a secret, morbid pleasure out of making everyone else around her feel miserable. Boy. Am I going to feel shitty about admitting to these thoughts or what.
Plitch.
The Great Indian Family guilt is almost as bad as Catholic guilt. Lay it on heavy and lay it on thick. Add to that, your natural compassion. Don't beat on yourself too much, girl. Expressing these sentiments in an anonymous manner (at least, one that is not likely to get back to the person it's about) seems like as healthy a way as possible to get it out. Really, better out than in. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThanks for still reading my ramblings!
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